This week's focus is on natural consequences. "A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally, with no adult interference. When you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don't eat, you get hungry. When you forget your coat, you get cold. No piggybacking allowed. Adults piggyback when they lecture, scold, say "I told you so", or anything else that adds more blame, shame or pain than the child might experience naturally from the experience. Piggybacking actually lessens the learning that can occur from experiencing a natural consequence because the child stops processing the experience and focuses on absorbing or defending against the blame, shame, and pain. Instead of piggybacking, show empathy and understanding for what the child is experiencing. " I'll bet it was hard to..." When it seems appropriate, rather than patronizing, you could add, " I love you and have faith in you to handle this." It can be difficult for parents to be supportive without rescuing or overprotecting, but it is one of the most encouraging things you can do to help your children develop perceptions of capability."
Jane Nelsen, Ed.D
